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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Agression and Compromise

One of the recent feedbacks I have got from my European colleagues is, I am not that aggressive and that allows others to take additional advantage on me. Too nice is not good enough. Someone can dominate, misuse sometime. But truly speaking I do not want be aggressive because I get arrogant and rough when I am angry. In past, there were innumerous incidents when I lost control in anger and that cost me a lot.

Typical characteristic of a common Indian is to make compromise and I am not exceptional. I have got a fact that India had not invaded any country in last thousand years. We have always defended foreign attacks. This is simply amazing. The perseverance and heritage that Indian Culture has gained in thousands of year is unequivocally appreciated. Being an integral part of that civilization obviously my nature is influenced by it. Compromises give lot of satisfaction and stabilization. It gives me immense pleasure and self satisfaction, when someone is happy for my compromise and some problem is solved for our understandings. Compromise sometime results in devotion and sacrifice, whereas aggression often comes closer to selfishness.

But if one is never aggressive and always compromises he is WRONG sometime. The proper balance of aggression and patience is important. Anger is bad, but if it is in right time, with proper magnitude and well directed, then it is better than anything else. It can drive many things, can solve many issues.

In this regard I want to talk about two Indian personalities. First one, Mahatma Gandhi, who introduced Satyagraha, was an emblem of compromise. He has shown the way of showing aggression in a controlled passion. It’s not always compromising and sacrificing, but also putting up the relevant issues to the British Govt and took necessary actions for Independence.

Another example is Sonia Gandhi (unfortunately I dont like her). Being a non Indian (in the sense she can’t speak any Indian Language and not exposed to Indian Culture, she left India once after her marriage with Rajeev Gandhi, for not liking the country, may be this is the reason I do not like her) she can never be the Prime minister of the nation. She is aggressive but the devotion she has shown by refusing the post of PrimeMinisterShip was really praiseworthy. She has own the heart of millions and has became an admirable person in India.

Mahatma was by nature a person of sacrifice, has shown how controlled aggression can result in Independence, where as Sonia is an aggressive political leader, has shown how devotions can melt the bitterness of billions of Indians. Thus, it is important to have a proper balance of Aggression and Compromise in order to achieve the equilibrium in all aspect. We can say it as a controlled aggression, which means control over aggression to me.

8 comments:

backpakker said...

I prefer to be assertive rather than aggressive and that does not mean you should compromise. I have never compromised in my life and I dont think I am very aggressive either...it has worked for me

Shruti said...

lovely post...
Aggresion is not always bad as you said..
And it is true , if it is done in a right way, may things can be resolved..

Take care

Kalyan said...

Nice thoughts, can't agree with you more there. Its ultimately the 'balance' which needs to be there between agression & compromise and this 'balance' also applies to our other spheres of life also, but in the end everything is done as the situation demands and for that even if the balance tilts a little.

Pijush said...

@ Backpacker, It is really nice to know about you, I also agree with you, but very different in nature.
@Shruti, Thanks for lovely comment, yes it resolves many things
@Kalyan, I exactly have tried to convey the same, like “The proper balance of aggression and patience is important. Anger is bad, but if it is in right time, with proper magnitude and well directed, then it is better than anything else.

Sigma said...

Nice post. Well, I too will say that aggression is not always bad. Specially in the professional world, where, unless you show a bit of it, people just keep taking you for granted. Perhaps it is true for all walks of life. However, as you say, a balance between aggression and compromise is definitely required.

Btw, I've come here before. But once or twice I came here, the subject under discussion was one that I was not conversant with, so didn't leave a comment :-)

Pijush said...

@Sigma,

Thanks for your comment and I totally agree with you regarding the corporate life. I have some experience, when I was a junior developer and working under an unscrupulous Team Lead. Believe it or nor I constantly worked for 21 days. During this period have not seen even the Sun. so it was a pathetic experience, but fortunately I managed with that TL, with bit of aggression. However, that cost me lot :-(

Yes, you can say my subjects are not conventional, its mainly because of my random thinking. I am not a Gene specialist, neither associated with the Genographic Project, but found it extremely interesting. I can write Bengali poems, but I guess it will be extremely difficult to translate in English.

AJEYA RAO said...

Nice post. I got the same feedback too from my onsite boss. :-)

Well being aggressive definetly does not been being arrogant, angry and bad....Aggresive means being firm, frank and getting your work done by making your point very clear.

I some how do not agree with your examples. Gandhi is an inspiration. Sonia Gandhi, by not accepting the position of PM, I think only played safe, I dont consider that as devotion.

I agree about maintaining a balance, I think we all need to shift between being assertive or aggressive at one time or the other.

Pijush said...

@Ajeya,

Nice to know about you, we all Indians have some similarities as we belong from the same culture. What you have told is correct and I think partially you are right about Sonia also :-)